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PRETZEL CITY SPORTS’ ANNUAL “SHOT TO THE GIBLETS”;
THE 8TH ANNUAL
“Dirty Bird”
15K Trail Run
Sunday, Nov 27, 2011 11:00
AM No Entry Limit!!
French Creek State Park, Birdsboro, PA
Many words and terms cause a gamut of differing emotions and meaning, when
utter. For instance, call your Mom a "Mother", and she'll shower
you with gum drops, more allowance and sloppy kisses. Call your teacher a "Mother" and
be prepared to go to "alternative school" complete with ankle monitors
and 22 year old sophomores. A female dog is a "bitch"; ask any Vet
and they'll tell you the same. But call ANYTHING ELSE that's female the same
thing and you may be singing soprano in a boys choir at the age of 43. Then
there's the term "giving you the bird". The Pilgrims "gave the
Indians the Bird" to show their gratitude and hospitality. Years later,
after dozens of broken treaties and multiple prime real estate purchases for
$20 of beads or less, the Indians gave the Pilgrims' descendents "the
Bird" whenever they weren't looking and often even when they were. And
each November, we go to the grocery store, hand the person some money and they "give
us the Bird". The Dirty Bird 15K Trail Run "gives you the Bird" in
all 3 senses too. From a purely transactional basis, you give us money and
we give you "the Bird", with its scenic course, long sleeve shirt,
hot/cold food, turkey-topped awards and all the other "fixins". And
with the love we put into our events, you'll marvel at the hospitality you'll
enjoy while being grateful that you completed the race alive. Yet, after many
of you see the long climbs, occasional mud, rocks and roots hidden by falling
leaves, bone chilling weather and such (sorry, no water crossings), you may
be "giving us the bird" behind our backs as well, or even when we
too are looking. The course is 85% rustic trails, 12% dirt road and 3% paved
road that passes a scenic lake twice and contains long continuous spans of
easy running surface. And it can be completed by anyone of at least mid-level
fitness; from those as lean as Tom Turkey's breast meat to those that look
like they too were stuffed sometime in the prior week. The woods are beautiful
this time of year and this is only a mid-difficult PCS event. But you WILL
know you got a workout, while sweating out actual lines of gravy and running
thru air tainted with posterior emissions smelling suspiciously like cranberry
sauce. You will have eaten continuously for the 3-4 days prior to this event.
Come on out in an attempt to try to balance the scales; if you don’t, you won’t
like what those "scales" have to say! LEGAL “FILLING”: YOU
TURKEYS RACE AT YOUR OWN RISK & ARE SOLEY RESPONSIBLE FOR GETTING YOUR
GIBLETS OUT OF THE WOODS! We'll be too full ourselves to ever have
the energy to carry you out and will "cop" to the old "fable" that
all that turkey has chemically made us sleepy. So, if you break your wishbone
or gobble up some dirt, get yourself to the next aide station so we can get
you back to the finish. And if you get lost, which you won’t, be aware that
we no more "look" for you than you should look for a parking spot
within 30 feet of the front door of Best Buy on Black Friday (30 BLOCKS maybe,
but not 30 feet). Also, there is some challenge
to this event so the race is closed to those below 18 (16 & 17 year olds
may run too IF a parent/legal guardian comes along to the race to watch or
run-medics can’t work on under 18’s without permission), people that think
their turkey had to grow up on a "free range" (it IS, however, ok
to COOK them on a free range; the one that your Uncle Vinny gave you when he
remodeled his kitchen) and anyone who isn’t at least a little repulsed by the
concept of Mom hand stuffing items, up to her elbow, in the North end of a
dead bird looking South.
GOODIES: Finishing awards to all (may mail a substitute item
if # of finishers exceeds our guess) instant results, regis.
in enclosed tent, results on www.pretzelcitysports.com in
1-3 days, modern johns (no showers), WELL marked course if no one screws with
it, lots of parking, 3 water stops, hot & cold grub, ambulance, course
viewable at several points via car, bike or Segway, camping/cabins in park
(brrr!!!-610 582-9680) Playground right next to registration, pool is expected
to have VERY limited hours that day; bring a suit & an ice pick!
ENTRY: Race at around 11 A.M.; reg opens at 9:45. $33 if
postmarked by Wed, Nov 9th, with long sleeve cotton T-shirt, $38 after cutoff & day
of race while shirts last; $30 when gone. FEW “EXTRA” SHIRTS PRINTED
over our entry total at the cutoff! Our shirt designs tend to be “memorable”
(like a Charlie Sheen interview or French Kissing a smoker) and they're great
conversation starters at divorce hearings, Star Trek conventions, senate investigations
, etc. so pre-enter so you get a shirt, even if the cutoff has passed (can
enter on pretzelcitysports.com till midnight on the Wed before
raceday) since remaining shirts are set aside on a “first entered, first gets”
basis!! We race in ANY & ALL weather; no refunds, no mailed
shirts/awards, no racing w/pets unless you plan to follow all runners for the
1st mile, no alcohol in park & no entries that think that "trail runs" should
be nothing more than "road runs on grass".
IMPORTANT NOTE # 1: While Pretzel City REJOICES IN running
in highly interesting weather, things may get so bad that the Park stops us
from having the race that day; roads closed by state, boy scouts picketing
on the trail for chipmunk equality, Eagles already out of the playoff hunt,
etc. DON”T confuse “bad” conditions with “normal” snowfall (before or during
the event), shrinkage-causing temps, slow but still drive-able roads, etc.;
we race in ALL of those cases!!! Race to be postponed ONLY in
extreme cases. In this HIGHLY UNLIKELY case, a message will be put both on
the home page of www.pretzelcitysports and on 610-779-2668 the second that
we know & we’ll send out an email immediately but that may not help if
I only have your work email. Our regrets in advance to anyone
that gets “burnt” from driving in the night before but PCS won’t “control”
this; the Park will. IF POSTPONED, NEW DATE FOR THE RACE WILL BE SATURDAY,
DEC 17, 2011. If postponed that day, we’ll find ANOTHER day
and contact all prereg folks; that’s why readable phone #'s
and email addresses on your reg form ARE ESSENTIAL! But the probability
that we postpone it is about as low as the probability that the next Republican
Presidential nominee will be dynamic, charismatic, forward thinking or "true" to
their spouse..
IMPORTANT NOTE # 2: PCS shares the Park staff’s desire to
limit the impact of any race on its trails. If the trail & weather that
weekend require us to do so, we reserve the right to adjust the course, its
distance and/or its “percent of trails vs. dirt & hard road” to insure
that the trails will not be damaged.
Awards:1st & 2ndM/F +: 16-29: 4M, 3F 30-39: 4M, 3F 40-49:
4M, 3F 50-59: 4M, 3F 60-64: 3M, 2F 65+: 2M, 2F
Directions: Take Rt. 422 East of Reading about 6 miles.
Take Rt. 82 South to 2nd light in Birdsboro; left on Rt. 724 East. About 1
mile; go right onto Rt. 345 South. Park is 5 miles ahead on right. Reg is behind
main office.
Alt. Way from both East & West: Take PA Turnpike Morgantown
exit, go east on Rt 23 until 345 North, take 345N to 1st Park road. Enter & go
to T, go right, then go right again to registration area behind main office.
Another Alt. Way from East: Rt 422 to Rt 100 S at Pottstown,
take first exit and go right onto Rt 724 West, Go approx 6 miles to Rt 345,
take left. Park is 5 miles ahead on your right. Reg is behind the main office.
Online
registration not required
but always encouraged!
(small service fee applies, closes at midnight on Wed the week of the race)
Insurance Provided by Road Runner Clubs of America
Check Payable to & Mailed to (with waiver): PRETZEL CITY SPORTS, 112 W. 36TH ST., READING, PA 19606 Biggest Turkey: Ron Horn, rhornpcs@aol.com, 610-779-2668 (AM or PM), www.pretzelcitysports.com
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Last Name_________________________________ First Name _________________________________
Street Address___________________________________________________________
City ____________________________________ State______ Zip_________ Sex: M F Race Day Age _____
(must be 18 or older to run, 16 & 17 yr olds allowed with parent present )
Date of Birth___/___/___ Tel: (______)________________________________________ A.M. or P.M?_____
Long Sleeve Shirt Size (circle one): S M L XL
Email ____________________@___________________
(if checked fairly regularly-print clearly!!!)
Already Getting Runner Update Emails on Regular Basis? (check one) ________ Yes _________No
WAIVER: I know that running a trail run
is a potentially hazardous activity. I should not enter or
run unless I am medically able & properly trained. I also
know that there will be traffic, winter hazards, debris, and
poor footing on the course and assume the risk for running
on it. I also assume any or all other risks associated with
running or attending the race including but not limited to
falls, contact with other participants, the affects of the
weather, the conditions of the roads and getting lost, all
such risks being known and appreciated by me. Knowing these
facts, and in consideration of your accepting my entry fee,
I hereby for myself, my heirs, executors, administrators or
anyone else who might claim on my behalf, covenant not to
sue, and waive, release and discharge Pretzel City Sports,
French Creek State Park, PA Dept of Conservation & Natural
Resources all municipalities in which the event is held, the
race committee, volunteers, all other organizations directly
or indirectly associated with the race, any or all sponsors
including their agents, employees, assigns or anyone acting
on their behalf, or anyone else associated in any way with
this race, from any or all claims or liability for death,
personal injury or property damage of any kind or nature whatsoever
arising out of , or in the course of, my participation in
this event. This waiver extends to all claims of every kind
or nature whatsoever; foreseen or unforeseen, known or unknown.
By entering this race, I am granting permission to Pretzel
City Sports to use any pictures or likenesses of me secured
at the event in any way they see fit without review, restriction
or compensation. I HAVE READ & UNDERSTAND THIS WAIVER:
SIGNATURE __________________________________________________
DATE________________/2011
Please Print Like You Didn’t Lose YOUR
Drumstick!! • Sign Back of Waiver Form • May be Duplicated
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