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Dirty Bird


“Dirty Bird”
15K Trail Run

Sunday, Dec. 1, 2013 10:00 AM No Entry Limit!!
French Creek State Park, Birdsboro, PA

Most holiday-time races celebrate things that occurred that day; Christmas honors Jesus’ birth, July 4th remembers the day that the Continental Congress approved the Declaration of Independence (maybe the first AND last thing that Congress ever approved), Labor Day recognizes what all women go thru before the baby comes out, Valentine Day celebrates the growth of the over-priced greeting card & floral industries and Presidents Day WOULD celebrate the birthday of one of our greatest leaders EXCEPT that it now covers the birth of TWO presidents and rarely falls on the actual birthdates of either. The Dirty Bird, however, is one of the FEW races that celebrates a holiday’s AFTERMATH; the sudden 8 lb. weight gain in 3 days, the smell of cranberry sauce in every bead of sweat or fart you emit, the nasty mood you’re in from spending WAY too many hours with your relatives; many of which should not be allowed to roam free in public, etc. The DB gets you away from all that. By its end, you’ll have no air or liquids in you at all, let alone enough to “emit:, you‘ll be significantly “lighter” than when you started and after dealing with 47,000 rocks and roots on the course, Uncle Sol will seem as sweet as SpongeBob and Cousin Irma’s ‘cheek pinches” will seem more like “love taps” or “velvet claws of affection”. The Dirty Bird is a slightly difficult run thru the rustic trails of beautiful French Creek Park. It has gorgeous autumn colors, scenic lakeside sections, undulating trails and the fresh smell of fall (and the fresh screams from “falls”) in the air. The course is 85% rustic trails, 12% dirt road & 3% paved road, with some long but not steep climbs, shaded trails, lakeside views, 3 water stops (but no water crossings) and just a lot of things that make this course awesome. Type A’s will love it because you’ll get a good workout but it can also be completed those that need a good 60 days of “Vitamix-ing” just to get into 2X shorts. The Dirty Bird is a way to get all those moments of nausea from overeating, family lectures about your poor job/spouse/tattoo choices and the boredom of a reduced Sunday Pro football schedule ALL behind you, in a productive manner that is both more legal and less addictive than Crack. Come join the 350-400 runners who will swear that this event is MUCH more fun than staying home and eating turkey tacos for the 4th day in a row! LEGAL “STUFFING”: YOU BIRDS RACE AT YOUR OWN RISK & ARE SOLEY RESPONSIBLE FOR GETTING YOUR DRUMSTICKS OUT OF THE WOODS! Having LIVED on pie for almost 3 days, we'll be WAY too stuffed to carry you out so get your broken wishbone out to an aide station so we can bury you in a plot accessible by car. You won’t get lost but if you do, you're on your own and we hope you’re found before the 11th annual Dirty Bird. Also, there is some challenge to this event so the race is closed to those below 18 (16 & 17 year olds may run too IF a parent/guardian comes along to the race to watch; our run-medics can’t work on under 18’s without permission), people that think that Madden Football is a hard holiday workout and anyone who’s not bothered by the fact that broadcaster Larry King continues to find himself brides under the age of 80.

GOODIES: Finishing awards to all (may mail a substitute item if # of finishers exceeds our guess) instant results, registration in enclosed tent, results on in 1-2 days, modern johns (no showers), WELL marked course if no one screws with it, lots of parking, 3 water stops, hot & cold grub, ambulance, course viewable at several points via car, bike or UFO, camping/cabins in park (brrr!!!-610 582-9680) Playground right next to registration, pool is expected to have VERY limited hours that day; bring a suit & an ice pick!

ENTRY: We race at 10 A.M.; reg opens at 8:45. $34 if postmarked by Sat, 11/16, with long sleeve shirt, $39 after cutoff & day of race while shirts last; $30 when gone. FEW “EXTRA” SHIRTS PRINTED over our entry total at the cutoff! Our shirt designs tend to be “memorable” (not like finding that huge zit on prom night; no, the NICE kind of memorable) and they're great conversation starters at funding cut protests, speed dating, flash mob dance performances and rehab. So pre-enter so you get a shirt, even if the cutoff has passed (mail it in or go to till midnight on the Wed before raceday) since remaining shirts are awarded on a “first entered, first gets” basis!! We race in ANY & ALL weather; no refunds, no mailed shirts/awards, no racing w/pets unless you stay in last for the 1st mile, no alcohol in park & no entries that think that their lungs will freeze under 62 degrees.

IMPORTANT NOTE # 1: While Pretzel City REJOICES IN running in highly interesting weather, things may get so bad that the Park stops us from having the race that day; roads closed by state, a victim of the Amish Mafia found along the course, an on-course protest by deer demanding shorter hunting periods, etc. DON”T confuse “bad” conditions with “normal” snowfall (before or during the event), shrinkage-causing temps, slow but still drive-able roads, etc.; we race in ALL of those cases!!! Race to be postponed ONLY in extreme cases. In this HIGHLY UNLIKELY case, a message will be put both on the home page of www.pretzelcitysports and on 610-779-2668 the second that we know & we’ll send out an email immediately but that may not help if I only have your work email. Our regrets in advance to anyone that gets “burnt” from driving in the night before but PCS won’t “control” this; the Park will. IF POSTPONED, NEW DATE FOR THE RACE WILL BE THE FOLLOWING SAT, DEC 7, 2013. If postponed that day, we’ll find ANOTHER day and contact all prereg folks; that’s why readable phone #'s and email addresses on your reg form ARE ESSENTIAL! But the probability that we postpone it is about as low as the probability of finding natural boobs on any show that starts with the words “The Real Housewives of….”. Except on the men!

IMPORTANT NOTE # 2: PCS shares the Park staff’s desire to limit the impact of any race on its trails. If the trail & weather that weekend require us to do so, we reserve the right to adjust the course, its distance and/or its “percent of trails vs. dirt & hard road” to insure that the trails will not be damaged.

AWARDS: 1st & 2ndM/F +: 0-29: 4M, 4F 30-39: 4M, 4F 40-49: 4M, 4F 50-59: 4M, 4F 60-60: 4M, 3F 70+: 2M, 2F

Directions: Take Rt. 422 East of Reading about 6 miles. Take Rt. 345 South to 2nd light in Birdsboro; left on Rt. 724 East. About 1 mile; go right onto Rt. 345 South. Park is 5 miles ahead on right. Reg is behind main office.
Alt. Way from both East & West: Take PA Turnpike Morgantown exit, go east on Rt 23 until 345 North, take 345N to 1st Park road. Enter & go to T, go right, then go right again to registration area behind main office.
Another Alt. Way from East: Rt 422 to Rt 100 S at Pottstown, take first exit and go right onto Rt 724 West, Go approx 6 miles to Rt 345, take left. Park is 5 miles ahead on your right. Reg is behind the main office.

(small service fee applies---closes at midnight on the Wed night before raceday)


Check Payable to & Mailed to (with waiver): PRETZEL CITY SPORTS, 112 W. 36TH ST., READING, PA 19606 Biggest Turkey: Ron Horn,, 610-779-2668 (AM or PM),

Print As Neat As Your List to Santa!         Sign Back of Waiver Form         May be Duplicated


Last Name_________________________________ First Name _________________________________

Street Address___________________________________________________________

City ____________________________________ State______ Zip_________ Sex: M F Race Day Age _____
(must be 18 or older to run, 16 & 17 yr olds allowed with parent present )

Date of Birth___/___/___ Tel: (______)________________________________________ A.M. or P.M?_____

Long Sleeve Tech Size (circle one): XS     S     M     L    XL      2X
(regular long sleeve shirts may only be available for late entries, very late entries may get no shirt at all)

Email ____________________@___________________
(if checked fairly regularly-print clearly!!!)

Already Getting Runner Update Emails on Regular Basis? (check one) ________ Yes _________No

WAIVER: I know that running a trail run is a potentially hazardous activity. I should not enter or run unless I am medically able & properly trained. I also know that there will be traffic, winter hazards, debris, and poor footing on the course and assume the risk for running on it. I also assume any or all other risks associated with running or attending the race including but not limited to falls, contact with other participants, the affects of the weather, the conditions of the roads and getting lost, all such risks being known and appreciated by me. Knowing these facts, and in consideration of your accepting my entry fee, I hereby for myself, my heirs, executors, administrators or anyone else who might claim on my behalf, covenant not to sue, and waive, release and discharge Pretzel City Sports, French Creek State Park, PA Dept of Conservation & Natural Resources all municipalities in which the event is held, the race committee, volunteers, all other organizations directly or indirectly associated with the race, any or all sponsors including their agents, employees, assigns or anyone acting on their behalf, or anyone else associated in any way with this race, from any or all claims or liability for death, personal injury or property damage of any kind or nature whatsoever arising out of , or in the course of, my participation in this event. This waiver extends to all claims of every kind or nature whatsoever; foreseen or unforeseen, known or unknown. By entering this race, I am granting permission to Pretzel City Sports to use any pictures or likenesses of me secured at the event in any way they see fit without review, restriction or compensation. I HAVE READ & UNDERSTAND THIS WAIVER:

SIGNATURE __________________________________________________ DATE________________/2013

Insurance Provided by Road Runner Clubs of America