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PRETZEL CITY SPORTS’ 17TH YEAR OF “MORONIC BEHAVIOUR CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS AN ATHLETIC EVENT", THE
‛Half-Wit Half’ Marathon
13.1 Mile Trail Run, Reading, PA
Sunday, August 12, 2012 * 9:00 AM * No Field Size Limit!
NEW COURSE FOR 2012 - NOT EASIER! JUST NEWER!
Because A Mind is a Terrible Thing…..
Many incredibly educated, brilliant people over the years have made decisions that are about as well thought out as installing a condom machine in a Convent or placing professional ice hockey teams in Arizona, Texas and Florida. Case in point: a nominee that critics included this year for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame was Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. JOAN FRIGGIN JETT AND THE (ONE HIT WONDER) BLACKHEARTS??!! Right there next to the Beatles, the Temptations, Bob Dylan, etc??!! Are you KIDDING me??!! That's like nominating Cleveland as the top Shore Resort of the Year!! Thankfully, neither of the aforementioned won either honor. Equally astute folks also once championed New Coke, one of the worst marketing blunders ever, and the Edsel, one of the worst product blunders ever. Also on that list of just plain awful decisions are movies that you play at home on large disks the size of hub caps, hair replacement in a spray can and a former Vice President named Dan Quayle who once was a single heartbeat away from leading the World's most powerful nation. As they say out in the pasture, "UDDERLY AMAZING"! Such cranial collapses do not occur with people that enter the Half Wit. When a Half Wit entry is said to be "outstanding in his field", it is because he or she is not bright enough to find his way OUT of that field! Especially if the grass is really high! Only a rare breed (thank God!) enters the Half Wit Half since this demented trek requires one to have very limited common sense, no regard whatsoever for their body, a desire to suffer more than a Charles Dickens' orphan and more balls than the driving range; much like those running for the Republican Presidential nomination. The "Half Wit Half" Marathon 13.1M Trail is a never-ending barrage of rocks & roots, serious ascents & descents, downed trees (no water crossings), urban relics like the "128 Steps from Hell" and stifling heat; and that's the NICE part of the course. And yet 450-600 people of limited gray matter & low SAT scores do it every year. WHY? Well, first of all, DUH, they're not too bright! But many of them site the unique aide stations (some w/alternate beverages), the horses butt awards, the eclectic tech shirt artwork & the post race party at the Liederkranz German Singing & Sports Club that goes on forever, mainly because they lost their keys. The HWH is maybe PCS’s most gnarly race, Dude. It's a true challenge for the race leaders who would rather break a femur than have a 2 hr plus half marathon to their credit. Yet, it's doable by the person that downs 3 Snickers bars while reading the National Enquirer on the rack as they wait behind a BlueHair with 97 coupons at the supermarket. Yes, the HWH will be the most unique race you'll ever do, although if you are truly a Half Wit, you'll probably follow your Tom Tom's direction without question and end up in Cape May. LEGAL B.S: You are responsible for your health and welfare at all times during this race!! NOT the place to do your first “trail race” or “race” ever. It’s tuff! Plus, we don’t look for you if you get lost; we'll be too tired from marking the course the day before. Since this race is a REAL BUGGER, we don’t allow entries under 18. We also reject people that think that U.S. companies will ever bring back the jobs they sent off to people who will work for 16 hrs straight for $3.26/day before taxes, and anyone who doesn’t think that bouncing a quarter off Joan River's face would be hilarious. However, if you've ever bought cubic zirconia jewelry, a Jessica Simpson CD or a ticket to ANY wax museum ANYWHERE, we welcome you with open, very hairy arms!
AWARDS: 1st and 2nd M & F overall + 1st M & F Masters (no repeats) +
18-29: 6M/5F 30-39: 6M/4F 40-49: 6M/4F 50-59: 6M/4F 60-69: 4M, 3F (60+ for women) 70+: 2M,
REGISTRATION/ENTRY: Reading Liederkranz, 140 Spook Lane (off of Hill Rd), Reading, PA Reg. opens at 7:45 a.m., race starts at 9 (approx.). Fee: $32 w/shirt if postmarked by Mon, 7/23/12. Afterwards, $38 while shirts last (inc. raceday), $28 when gone. WARNING: FEW EXTRA TECH SHIRTS printed than the # ordered by prereg entries so if you don’t enter beforehand (even if after the cutoff), the only way you’ll prove to your friends that you’re a “Half Wit” is by telling them about the time you aborted your hunting trip before it even began because on your way there, you came upon a sign on the road that said "Bear Left". We race in heat, rain, humidity & pestilence. No refunds, mailed shirts/awards; running with pets (it would be cruel) or in-woods kanoodeling, especially with our deer. We reserve the right to delay the race start a shade if the weather is mega-foul, such as lightening. For your fee, you get a “collector’s item” tech shirt reflecting the limited smarts of those entered, finisher awards to all, (alternate type mailed to others if we have more finishers than estimated), very unique trophies, lots of munchies, well marked course, 5-6 water stops (some with snacks& alternate beverages), immediate results, results on www.pretzelcitysports.com in 1-2 days, indoor johns & porta johns on site, ambulance present & on-course surprises!
NOTE!! THIS IS ONE OF PCS’s SUMMER RUNS THAT STARTS AT 9 AM. DON’T BE LATE! ALSO, YOU MUST REACH 9M IN UNDER 2 HRS, 30 MIN. If it takes you any longer, it’s dangerous for you to go on (ask the girl who was last in 1999). It also ups the chance that all the food will be gone, the finish line will be packed up & the race committee will be knee deep in their body waxes. So you’re not tempted to “finish or die trying” after the cutoff, we remove the last section’s course markings starting at that time, give the wildlife water balloons and release our touchy-feely Aunts and Great Aunts onto the course. Bail-out” spot (9M) occurs within 1/4 mile of the finish. If you “bail”, PLEASE don’t CROSS THE FINISH LINE to tell us that you quit/got lost/got hurt/only ran part of the course, etc.!!!; It screws up our timing ROYALLY!!!
DIRECTIONS TO RACE @ 140 SPOOK LANE, READING, PA:
FROM PHILLY: IMPORTANT: DO NOT USE MAPQUEST DIRECTIONS FROM PHILLY! Instead, take Rt. 422 West from King of Prussia. Just before Reading, at the new TARGET/LOWES/GIANT on your right, bear right onto Bus. Rt. 422, marked “Mt. Penn”; DON’T follow sign to Reading ** Go 3 miles until road splits at abandoned Bank and clock in middle of road. 300 yds later, JUST PAST Arners Restaurant, take right onto Glen Rd (sign missing, look for "Stokesay Castle" sign visible at last moment). At end of Glen, turn right & then take your next right just 50 yards ahead. Or follow the signs to Stokesay, Liederkrantz is right next to it.
YORK/LANCASTER: Rt. 222 N to Reading. Follow new bypass to Rt. 422 East. Exit at Mt Penn. Take a left, go 3 lights to Bus. Rt. 422. Take a left, follow the Philly directions above after the asterisk **.
ALLENTOWN: Rt. 222 S onto new Reading bypass, merge onto Rt. 422 East (Reading/Pottstown). Go around Reading and exit at Mt Penn. Go left, go 3 lights to Bus. 422W. Take left, follow Philly directions after asterisks **.
LEBANON: Take Rt. 422 East. Just past Berkshire mall, bear right onto Rt. 422E. Continue on bypass past Reading to Mt Penn exit. Take left, go 3 lights to Bus.422W. Go left, follow Philly directions above after asterisks **.
COAL REGION: Take Rt 61 South onto Rt 222 Bypass, follow same directions above listed “Allentown”
BALTIMORE: Rt 83 North to Rt 30 East at York to Rt 222N at Lancaster. Follow Lancaster directions above.
ON-LINE SIGNUP W/CREDIT CARD AVAILABLE ON
PRETZELCITYSPORTS.COM
(nominal processing fee applies, closes at midnight on Wed, Aug 10)
Click here to go directly to online registration.
Insurance Provided by Road Runner Clubs of America (R.R.C.A.)
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Check Payable to & Mailed to (with waiver): PRETZEL CITY SPORTS, 112 W. 36TH ST., READING, PA 19606
Head Half Wit: Ron Horn, rhornpcs@aol.com , 610-779-2668, www.pretzelcitysports.com
PRINT GOODER THAN USUAL. AND DON’T USE CRAYON!! ** APP MAY BE COPIED ** SIGN WAIVER BELOW
Last Name_______________________________ First Name_____________________________________
Street Address____________________________________________________________________________
City ________________________________________ State______ Zip_________
Sex: M F Race Day Age _____ Date of Birth____/___/____ (must be 18 or more) Size Tech Shirt: XS S M L XL XX
Email ______________________________________ Already get Run Update eNewsletters? ___ Yes ___ No
Tel:(______)_____________________________________________ AM? ____ PM? ______ BOTH? _____
WAIVER: I know that running a trail race is a potentially hazardous activity. I should not enter and run unless I am medically able and properly trained. I also know that there will be traffic, hazards, debris and poor footing on the course and assume the risk for running on it. I also assume any or all other risks associated with running or attending the race including but not limited to falls, contact with other participants, the affects of the weather, getting lost, wildlife and insect attacks and all such risks being known and appreciated by me. Knowing these facts, and in consideration of your accepting my entry fee, I hereby for myself, my heirs, executors, administrators or anyone else who might claim on my behalf, covenant not to sue, and waive, release and discharge Pretzel City Sports, all municipalities in which the event is held, the race director, course officials, all other organizations directly or indirectly associated with the race, any and all sponsors including their agents, employees, assigns or anyone acting for on their behalf, or anyone else associated in any way with the race, from any or all claims or liability for death, personal injury or property damage of any kind of nature what so ever arising out of, or in the course of, my participation in this event(s). This waiver extends to all claims of every kind or nature what so ever, foreseen or unforeseen, known or unknown. By entering this race, I am granting permission to Pretzel City Sports to use any pictures or likenesses of me secured at the event in any way they see fit without review, restriction or compensation. BY SIGNING THIS, I ATTEST THAT I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTAND THIS WAIVER:
Signature ________________________________________________ Date ________________, 2012
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