PRETZEL CITY SPORTS PRESENTS THE 18TH ANNUAL SALUTE TO SHAMEFULLY LOW WUNDERLICK AND S.A.T. SCORES, THE
‛Half-Wit Half’ Marathon
13.1 Mile Trail Run, Reading, PA
Sunday, August 11, 2013 * 9:00 AM * No Field Size Limit!
Because A Mind is a Terrible Thing…..
The recently departed Ed Koch, onetime Mayor of NYC in the mid-70’s, once said “ If you agree with me on 9 out of 12 issues, then vote for me! If you agree with me on 12 out of 12 issues, see a psychiatrist!” The same could be said for the “Half Wit Half” 13.1M Trail Run in Reading, PA. Just like Ed had radical ideas like reducing the number of hookers in Time Square to only 3 per hundred tourists or cleaning the subway cars every 6 months instead of every 6 years, the Half Wit Half Marathon has more than its share of “out of the box” ideas too. There’s the “128 Steps from Hell", our alternative beverage aide stations that you pass twice, stifling heat, the section where the trail disappears and you run across the forest floor, funny signs and not near as funny volunteers, the HWH eclectic shirts without 400 ads on the back, our rocky descents and seemingly never-ending ascents, great post race festivities and horse’s ass-adorned awards; unmatched (for good reason) concepts which are somewhat unique to this race. Surprisingly, many runners love most of these bizarre and gonzo ideas. Go figure! (Millions of pre-teen honeys love Justin Bieber too; also unexplainable). But what is frightening is that many of the 500-600 that do this event like ALL of our ideas. And for those that do, THAT is why this race is named what it is. The Half Wit Half is perhaps Pretzel City Sports’ tuffest race and is a real treat for the type A’s & sickos that really like a race that sticks with you until the scars heal. For others much less in need of a couch or a sports manager, it is a race that you can do with some training and REALLY feel proud of what you have accomplished. It is a festival of rocks and roots, single, double and triple track trails, more ups and downs than Oprah’s pant size, limbs and leaps and just a WHOLE bunch of things that make this race as memorable an event as you’ve ever done. And it is followed by a festive post race party at the Liederkranz German Singing & Sports Club with great refreshments and a cash bar; where a “live” band will play to “near dead” finishers in a picnic grove setting. It takes a rare person (thankfully) to enter the Half Wit! Are you such a person? Or do you go thru life being described in one word; Beige! Come out and see why hundreds of underachievers flock to central PA each year to prove their stupidity and mingle amongst the rare gathering of people that they will ever find to whom they feel “mentally superior”. Cast YOUR vote for the Half Wit Half! LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO: You are responsible for your health and welfare at all times during this race!! This is NOT the place to do your first “trail race” or “race” ever; just like an 18 wheeler isn’t the first thing to drive after you get your permit. Plus, we don’t look for you if you get lost; this course kicks our butt the day before when we mark it! For those reasons, we don’t allow entries under 18. We also reject people that think that it makes sense for the U.S. to produce the “penny” that costs 2.5 cents to make (true fact and a government policy even offensive to a Half Wit!) and anyone who thinks that Meg Ryan/Goldie Hawn/Melanie Griffith’s lips look natural. However, if you’ve ever had trouble keeping your balance on your 3-wheeled Big Wheel or considered opening up a Surf Shop in Kansas or worn anything “velvet” to a prom, wedding or funeral, we welcome you with open arms!
AWARDS: 1st and 2nd M & F overall + 1st M & F Masters (no repeats) +
18-29: 6M/5F 30-39: 6M/4F 40-49: 6M/4F 50-59: 6M/4F 60-69: 4M, 3F (60+ for women) 70+: 2M,
REGISTRATION/ENTRY: Reading Liederkranz, 140 Spook Lane (off of Hill Rd), Reading, PA Reg. opens at 7:45 a.m., race starts at 9 (approx.). Fee: $33 w/shirt if postmarked by Mon, 7/22/13. Afterwards, $38 while shirts last (inc. raceday), $30 when gone. WARNING: FEW EXTRA TECH SHIRTS printed than the # ordered by prereg entries so if you don’t enter beforehand (even if after the cutoff), the only way you’ll prove to your friends that you’re a “Half Wit” is by showing them your Duck Dynasty “Sy’s Sweet Tea Mug”. We race in heat, rain, humidity & economic downturns. No refunds, mailed shirts/awards; running with pets (it would be cruel) or wheelchair access; no matter to what degree it is equipped to go off- road. We reserve the right to delay the race start a shade if the weather is mega-foul, such as lightening. For your fee, you get a “collector’s item” tech shirt reflecting the limited smarts of those entered, finisher awards to all, (alternate type mailed to others if we have more finishers than estimated), very unique trophies, lots of munchies, well marked course, 5-6 water stops (some with snacks& alternate beverages), immediate results, results on www.pretzelcitysports.com in 1-2 days, indoor johns & porta johns on site, ambulance present & on-course surprises!
NOTE!! THIS IS ONE OF PCS’s SUMMER RUNS THAT STARTS AT 9 AM. DON’T BE LATE! ALSO, YOU MUST REACH 9M IN UNDER 2 HRS, 30 MIN. If it takes you any longer, it’s dangerous for you to go on (ask the girl who was last in 1999). It also ups the chance that all the food will be gone, the finish line will be packed up & the race committee will be knee deep in Texas Hold ‘em. So you’re not tempted to “finish or die trying” after the cutoff, we remove the last section’s course markings starting at that time, send poltergeist into the woods telepathically and show Tyler Perry films on monitors at every turn. Bail-out” spot (9M) occurs within 1/4 mile of the finish. If you “bail”, PLEASE don’t CROSS THE FINISH LINE to tell us that you quit/got lost/got hurt/only ran part of the course, etc.!!!; It screws up our timing ROYALLY!!!
DIRECTIONS TO RACE @ 140 SPOOK LANE, READING, PA:
FROM PHILLY: IMPORTANT: DO NOT USE MAPQUEST DIRECTIONS FROM PHILLY! Instead, take Rt. 422 West from King of Prussia. Just before Reading, at the new TARGET/LOWES/GIANT on your right, bear right onto Bus. Rt. 422, marked “Mt. Penn”; DON’T follow sign to Reading ** Go 3 miles until road splits at abandoned Bank and clock in middle of road. 300 yds later, JUST PAST Arners Restaurant, take right onto Glen Rd (sign missing, look for "Stokesay Castle" sign visible at last moment). At end of Glen, turn right & then take your next right just 50 yards ahead. Or follow the signs to Stokesay, Liederkrantz is right next to it.
YORK/LANCASTER: Rt. 222 N to Reading. Follow new bypass to Rt. 422 East. Exit at Mt Penn. Take a left, go 3 lights to Bus. Rt. 422. Take a left, follow the Philly directions above after the asterisk **.
ALLENTOWN: Rt. 222 S onto new Reading bypass, merge onto Rt. 422 East (Reading/Pottstown). Go around Reading and exit at Mt Penn. Go left, go 3 lights to Bus. 422W. Take left, follow Philly directions after asterisks **.
LEBANON: Take Rt. 422 East. Just past Berkshire mall, bear right onto Rt. 422E. Continue on bypass past Reading to Mt Penn exit. Take left, go 3 lights to Bus.422W. Go left, follow Philly directions above after asterisks **.
COAL REGION: Take Rt 61 South onto Rt 222 Bypass, follow same directions above listed “Allentown”
BALTIMORE: Rt 83 North to Rt 30 East at York to Rt 222N at Lancaster. Follow Lancaster directions above.
OPTIONAL ON-LINE SIGNUP W/CREDIT CARD AVAILABLE ON
(nominal processing fee applies, closes at midnight on Wed, Aug 7)
Click here to go directly to online registration.
Insurance Provided by Road Runner Clubs of America (R.R.C.A.)
Check Payable to & Mailed to (with waiver): PRETZEL CITY SPORTS, 112 W. 36TH ST., READING, PA 19606
Head Half Wit: Ron Horn, firstname.lastname@example.org , 610-779-2668, www.pretzelcitysports.com
Last Name_______________________________ First Name_____________________________________
City _____________________________ State______ Zip_________ Sex: M F Race Day Age _____
Date of Birth____/___/____ (must be 18 or more) Size Tech Shirt: XS S M L XL 2X
Email ______________________________________ Already get Run Update eNewsletters? ___ Yes ___ No
Phone:(______)____________________________________________ AM? ____ PM? ______ BOTH? _____
WAIVER: I know that running a trail race is a potentially hazardous activity. I should not enter and run unless I am medically able and properly trained. I also know that there will be traffic, hazards, debris and poor footing on the course and assume the risk for running on it. I also assume any or all other risks associated with running or attending the race including but not limited to falls, contact with other participants, the affects of the weather, getting lost, wildlife and insect attacks and all such risks being known and appreciated by me. Knowing these facts, and in consideration of your accepting my entry fee, I hereby for myself, my heirs, executors, administrators or anyone else who might claim on my behalf, covenant not to sue, and waive, release and discharge Pretzel City Sports, all municipalities in which the event is held, the race director, course officials, all other organizations directly or indirectly associated with the race, any and all sponsors including their agents, employees, assigns or anyone acting for on their behalf, or anyone else associated in any way with the race, from any or all claims or liability for death, personal injury or property damage of any kind of nature what so ever arising out of, or in the course of, my participation in this event(s). This waiver extends to all claims of every kind or nature what so ever, foreseen or unforeseen, known or unknown. By entering this race, I am granting permission to Pretzel City Sports to use any pictures or likenesses of me secured at the event in any way they see fit without review, restriction or compensation. BY SIGNING THIS, I ATTEST THAT I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTAND THIS WAIVER:
Signature ________________________________________________ Date ________________, 2013
PLEASE, HALF WIT! HAVE SOMEONE HELP YOU FILL THIS OUT ** APP MAY BE COPIED ** SIGN WAIVER ON BACK