|
PRETZEL CITY SPORTS PRESENTS 15 YEARS OF “PAIN, BUT NO GAIN”; THE LEGENDARY
(FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS)
‛Half-Wit Half’ Marathon
13.1 Mile Trail Run, Reading, PA
Sunday, August 15, 2010 * 9:00 AM * No Entry Limit!
Because A Mind is a Terrible Thing…..
There are a number of theories concerning the reasons for the demise of the dinosaurs. Some learned minds feel that with spotty cell phone access and only 2-3 UHF channels available at the time (all of which came in fuzzy and one of which was C-Span), they just may have been bored to death. Others feel that the last herd of them that survived the ice age and subsequent global flooding when it thawed, eventually stumbled upon a prehistoric plant that exactly mimicked the taste of hospital food and that was the end of them! There is even a camp that theorizes that they found a field containing scattered stone tablets with the first single digit numbers ever chiseled out by the cave men, mistook them for a Sudoku and 37 minutes later, their bird size brains exploded! We may never know which of these theories is true, but you can almost be guaranteed that had the Half Wit Half been around at that time, someone would have assuredly blamed it as well. Now, this is NOT to say that the HWH, Pretzel City Sport’s most challenging race, is not responsible for making a number of things extinct; clear trails, soft surfaces, healthy knee joints, deodorant’s effectiveness and common sense, just to mention a few. And had the dinosaurs been around at that time, it is highly likely that they wouldn’t even make the cutoff time at the first beer stop. For the HWH is a TUFF and NEVERENDING assortment of rocks & roots, serious ascents and descents, downed trees (sorry, no water crossings), urban relics like the "128 Steps from Hell", memorable aide stations, horses butt awards, bizarre shirts & a post race party at the Liederkranz German Singing & Sports Club that make Time Square on New Years Eve look like a party of 6 year old Mennonites at Chucky Cheese. Yes, the Half Wit is quite doable for the weekend warrior that runs 10-15 miles a week, if they pace themselves like a septuagenarian at an orgy. But to race the HWH, one needs to be of “sound” body and “nowhere close to sound” mind. Because as proud as you will be when you finish it, that’s how much you’ll question your sanity while you’re running it. And yet, 400-600 fools, thrill seekers and zealots come back to this race each year, much like a burrito does when made with bad sour cream, so just how hard can the darn thing be?? The Half Wit Half; a challenge greater than finding a job when you majored in philosophy or convincing Seventh Day Adventists to get off your porch. LEGAL CRAPOLA: You alone are responsible for your health and welfare at all times during this race!! This is NOT the place to do your first trail race, first ever run or first journey over anything tougher than a mall parking lot. WE certainly won’t look for you and it’s doubtful that anyone else will either, unless you carpooled and were smart enough to be carrying the keys. And while we will have an EMS crew on duty, they know that it’s easier to bury you on the spot than carry you for 3 miles thru the woods so get your hiney to one of our aide stations or road crossings so that we can cart you back, before they find you instead. Others discouraged from entering are those that are under 18 (no exceptions to this one), people that think that MTV’s reality shows actually have ANYTHING to do whatsoever with “reality” and anyone oblivious to the fact that Dallas and DoucheBag both start with the letter “D”. However, if you ever owned a Dukes of Hazzard lunchbox, barked in the chorus section of “Who Let the Dogs Out” and ever gave any gift that had the word “chia” in it, we welcome you with open arms, sores and 6-packs
AWARDS: 1st and 2nd M & F overall + 1st M & F Masters (no repeats) +
18-29: 6M/4F 30-39: 6M/4F 40-49: 6M/4F 50-59: 6M/3F 60-69: 4M, 2F 70+: 1M, 1F
REGISTRATION/ENTRY: Reading Liederkranz, 140 Spook Lane (off of Hill Rd), Reading, PA Reg. opens at 7:45 a.m., race starts at 9 (approx.). Fee: $30 w/shirt if postmarked by Mon, 7/26/10. Afterwards, $35 while shirts last (inc.day of race), $27 when gone. WARNING: FEW EXTRA TECH SHIRTS printed than the # ordered by prereg entries so if you don’t enter beforehand (even if after the cutoff), the only way you’ll prove you’re a “HalfWit” is by showing people your SAT’s or high school yearbook picture. We race in heat, rain, humidity, recession and nuclear threat. No refunds, mailed shirts/awards; running with pets (it would be cruel) or in-woods making out, unless we can join in too. We reserve the right to delay the race start a short while if the weather is mega-foul at 9, such as lightening. For your fee, you get a “collector’s item” tech shirt that reflects the limited smarts of those entered, finisher awards to all finishers (alternate type mailed to others if we have more finishers than anticipated), very unique trophies, lots of caloric items to consume, well marked course, 5-6 water stops (some with snacks), immediate results, results on www.pretzelcitysports.com in 1-2 days, indoor bathrooms & porta johns on site, ambulance present & on-course surprises! “Bargain running clothing” lady may be there; bring cash!
TWO WARNINGS! THIS IS ONE OF TWO PRETZEL CITY TRAIL RUNS THAT STARTS AT 9 AM. DON’T SHOW UP AT 9:30!!! ALSO, YOU MUST REACH 9 MILES IN UNDER 2 HRS, 30 MIN. If it takes you any longer, it’s dangerous for you to go on (ask the girl who was last in 1999). It also increases the chance that all the food will be gone, the finish line will be packed up & the race committee will be sloshed. So you’re not tempted to “finish or die trying” after the cutoff, we remove the last section’s course markings starting at that time, napalm all trails up to that point and post baby pictures of the race director along the trail, just to discourage anyone from trying to “find the rest of the course” on their own. Bail-out” spot (9M) occurs within 1/4 mile of the finish. If you “bail”, PLEASE don’t CROSS THE FINISH LINE to tell us that you quit-got lost-pulled a hamstring-only ran part of the course, etc.!!!; It screws up our timing ROYALLY!!!!
DIRECTIONS FROM PHILLY: IMPORTANT: DO NOT USE MAPQUEST DIRECTIONS FROM PHILLY! Instead, take Rt. 422 West from King of Prussia. Just before Reading, 1 block past Arby’s & Burger King, bear right onto Bus. Rt. 422, marked “Mt. Penn”; DON’T follow sign to Reading ** Go 3 miles until road splits at Wachovia Bank. 300 yds later, JUST PAST Arners Restaurant, take right onto Glen Rd (sign missing, road is right before bridge begins). At end of Glen, turn right and then take an immediate right. Liederkranz is 50 yards ahead on right. Next to Stokesay Castle, a well know eatery.
YORK/LANCASTER: Rt. 222 N to Reading. Follow new bypass to Rt. 422 East. Exit at Mt Penn. Take a left, go 3 lights to Bus. Rt. 422. Take a left, follow the Philly directions above after the asterisk **.
ALLENTOWN: Rt. 222 S onto new Reading bypass, merge onto Rt. 422 East (Reading/Pottstown). Go around Reading and exit at Mt Penn. Go left, go 3 lights to Bus. 422W. Take left, follow Philly directions after asterisks **.
LEBANON: Take Rt. 422 East. Just past Berkshire mall, bear right onto Rt. 422E. Continue on bypass past Reading to Mt Penn exit. Take left, go 3 lights to Bus.422W. Go left, follow Philly directions above after asterisks **.
COAL REGION: Take Rt 61 South onto Rt 222 Bypass, follow same directions above listed “Allentown”
BALTIMORE: Rt 83 North to Rt 30 East at York to Rt 222N at Lancaster. Follow Lancaster directions above.
GPS & MAPQUEST INPUT: 140 Spook Lane, Reading, PA
ON-LINE SIGNUP W/CREDIT CARD AVAILABLE ON WWW.PRETZELCITYSPORTS.COM
(optional, nominal processing fee applies, closes at midnight on Wed, Aug 11)
Insurance Provided by Road Runner Clubs of America (R.R.C.A.)
Check Payable to & Mailed to (with waiver): PRETZEL CITY SPORTS, 112 W. 36TH ST., READING, PA 19606
Head Half Wit: Ron Horn, rhornpcs@aol.com , 610-779-2668, www.pretzelcitysports.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Click here to go to Optional Online Registration-small service fee applies
Last Name_______________________________ First Name_____________________________________
Street Address____________________________________________________________________________
City ________________________________________ State______ Zip_________
Sex: M F Race Day Age _____ Date of Birth____/___/_____ (must be 18 or more) Size Tech Shirt: S M L XL
Email ______________________________________ Already get Run Update eNewsletters? ___ Yes ___ No
Tel:(______)_____________________________________________ AM? ____ PM? ______ BOTH? _____
WAIVER: I know that running a trail race is a potentially hazardous activity. I should not enter and run unless I am medically able and properly trained. I also know that there will be traffic, hazards, debris and poor footing on the course and assume the risk for running on it. I also assume any or all other risks associated with running or attending the race including but not limited to falls, contact with other participants, the affects of the weather, getting lost, wildlife and insect attacks and all such risks being known and appreciated by me. Knowing these facts, and in consideration of your accepting my entry fee, I hereby for myself, my heirs, executors, administrators or anyone else who might claim on my behalf, covenant not to sue, and waive, release and discharge Pretzel City Sports, all municipalities in which the event is held, the race director, course officials, all other organizations directly or indirectly associated with the race, any and all sponsors including their agents, employees, assigns or anyone acting for on their behalf, or anyone else associated in any way with the race, from any or all claims or liability for death, personal injury or property damage of any kind of nature what so ever arising out of, or in the course of, my participation in this event(s). This waiver extends to all claims of every kind or nature what so ever, foreseen or unforeseen, known or unknown. By entering this race, I am granting permission to Pretzel City Sports to use any pictures or likenesses of me secured at the event in any way they see fit without review, restriction or compensation. BY SIGNING THIS, I ATTEST THAT I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTAND THIS WAIVER:
Signature ________________________________________________ Date ________________, 2010
PRINT GOODER THAT YOU USUALLY DEW, YOU HALF WIT ** APP MAY BE COPIED ** SIGN WAIVER ON BACK
|
