THE PAGODA PACERS A.C. , READING, PA PRESENTS THE GREATEST GATHERING OF PIGS SINCE THE 2004 "MISS BULGARIA" PRELIMS; THE 14TH ANNUAL

MT. PENN MUDFEST

15k Trail Run, Sat, March 22, 2008 (day before Easter)
10 AM-Reading, PA-Limited to First 825 Entries

“ONE OF THE FIVE U.S. TRAIL RACES YOU MUST DO”: Nov/2000 Runner’s World
“ONE OF THE TOP 21 TRAILS RACES IN THE U.S.”: Oct/1998 Runner’s World
“ONE OF THE TOP 6 TRAIL RACES IN THE U.S.: Fall/1998 Men’s Journal
“MORE HURTFUL THAN A DON IMUS BROADCAST: 2007 Rutgers Women's Basketball Yearbook

A Pagoda Pacer Event- entry thru www.pretzelcitysports.com ONLY

No Race Day Entry/No Waiting List/No Brain, No Pain

Race Held in Memory of Fellow Pacer & Race Co-Director Bill Bradley

The greatest disaster in the US over the past few years has been the "trainwreck" named Britney Spears. She got married & then annulled the marriage 55 hours later, then married & divorced a Eminem wanna-be who's former girlfriend (who had no idea she was a "former") was 7 months pregnant with his 2nd kid at the time (while his planned career as the next Vanilla Ice crashed when his CD sold a total of 63 copies, he will live a life of luxury that we can only imagine; just for talking his way into Britney's underpants on one of the few times when she wore any; a task that increasingly seems to be unbelievably easy to accomplish). Britney's continuing problems with alcohol, drugs and nicotine have been well documented and the only part of her body that has NOT been splashed across the Internet, in picture form, is her "brain". She has been publicly sited for bad parenting, bad driving, bad fashion choices, bad hairstyles (or for having no hair at all), bad career choices, bad song choices & CERTAINLY bad choices in men. Yet, if you took a poll of 10-14yr old girls in this country, MILLIONS would admit to wanting to be "just like her!"

The four early-Spring water crossings in the Mount Penn Mudfest 15K Trail Run will give you nipples hard enough to pierce an armored HumVee. It contain more "rock" than a Wolfman Jack Anthology and it has led to more "fat lips" than a pre-Holiday Sale at Mr. Lance's House of Botox. It goes up and down more than Space Mountain and the downed trees across its trails will result in so many "raised legs" that you'll think the Westminster Dog Show was in town. This MPM has made grown men swear off running and grown women swear off the grown men that talked them into it in the first place. All and all, the Mudfest is like a day at the Proctologists, when he happened to run out of KY jelly. Yet, there are MILLIONS of trail races out there that, when polled, would admit to wanting to be "just like the Mudfest !" Well, maybe not "millions" but "thousands". Well, "hundreds". OK, there are 14 trail races nationally that would like to be the Mudfest. And who can blame them!! Over the last 10 years, the Mudfest has been the largest rustic trail run in the U.S. for all but one year. Annually, runners from between 20-25 states migrate to the event for pig themed awards, pig-adorned shirts, unique & possibly illegal aid stations, a Clydesdale category unlike any other, in-race events such as the “raw egg carry” and the "Easter Egg Hunt" and the appearance of the only Septuagenarian Punk Rock band in America that is not currently incarcerated. The Mudfest has reached its entry limit every single year for the last 8 years that the limit has been in place; we just have no idea "why"? Legal Schmegal: YOU RACE AT YOUR OWN RISK, you alone are responsible for your well being while here! We do not look for missing runners; mostly due to requests by relatives, spouses, etc that have insured them heavily. We will have medical assistance on site but they insist on checking for hernias during every single examination of wounded runners; even if all you did was break a nail. Because the race can be challenging to some, it is closed to 1) runners below 18 (can be 16 or 17 IF accompanied there by a parent or guardian(we’ll ask to see proof); show up on your own and it’s “hasta la vista, baby!”), 2) anyone who ever put money in Marie Osmond's pocket by buying one of her frightening dolls on QVC and 3) anyone who thinks that the movie "Free Willy" was a porn film about a flasher in Oakland. PLEASE NOTE: While we respect the desire of “walkers” to see the course, we can’t ask our folks to stay at their posts for 30-40 extra minutes for the benefit of only 2-3. Entrants should be able to run at least half the course, at worst, & those exclusively “walking” at the 7 mile point will be asked to stop racing (the 7 mile pt is only 40 ft from the finish)

Awards: Much-sought-after pig adorned awards to overall M/F 1st thru 3rd and Masters M/F winners plus:
18-29: 7M, 5F 30-39: 7M, 5F 40-49: 7M, 5F 50-59: 7M, 4F 60& over: 5M, 3F 70+: 2M, 1 F
Also, Both Open Clydesdales/Clydettes & Master Clydesdales/Clydettes (40 & over) Awards: 1-5th Male & 1-3rd Female in both (not eligible for age group awards). Men: your weight (in lbs.) divided by your height (in inches) must be at least 2.7 lbs./inch. Women: same formula but your “min” is 2.15 lbs./inch. This method stops genetic freaks that weight 235 but have 4% body fat from stealing awards for those of us shaped like SpongeBob. Scale on site to both confirm eligibility & embarrass.

Registration/Packet Pickup: Race starts at 10 A.M at Rotary Park, List Rd., just off Angora Rd. (near the Pagoda) in Reading; all packet pickup occurs that morning and pickup opens at 8:30. NO RACE DAY ENTRY! NO WAITING LIST! MUST REGISTER ONLINE AT WWW.PRETZELCITYSPORTS.COM ; OPENS JAN 1, 2008 & CLOSES WHEN ENTRY LEVEL OF 825 RUNNERS IS REACHED OR BY MIDNIGHT, MAR 19TH, WHICHEVER OCCURS FIRST. If you have never been on the Internet and don’t know anyone who has access to the Internet or still think that the "Internet" is the international body that fights crime, call race director Ron Horn at 610-779-2668 for an alternate way to sign up.

Fee: $30 if entered by midnight, 3/1/08, $35 after that until midnight 3/19/08 or when we hit 825 entries; whichever happens first. Full refund of entry fee (but not service charge) if canceling by 3/10/08, no refund after that date. Any substitution you arrange is ok until 3/19 PROVIDING THAT YOU NOTIFY THE RACE DIRECTOR OF THE NEW PERSON'S COMPLETE INFO BY 3/19 AS WELL; ($$$ exchanged is between you & the sub you find and they may be stuck with your shirt “size” & “type”). NO RACE DAY SUBBING-IT SCREWS UP OUR RESULTS! Staff may ask for ID to stop day-of substitutions. Changes or requests for refunds after above cutoffs will be ignore much like noted germaphob Howie Mandel's request that happy winners on "Deal or No Deal" do not "touch" or "kiss" him. No “carry overs” to 2009; has become too difficult to track.

Your Goodies? Choice of a tank-top or regular T w/the famous “running pig” logo, finisher awards for all, snack bar, hot & cold food, 4 water stops, medical help on site, nearby parking, on-trail surprises, results on pagodapacers.com about 2-3 days after race & a course where your friends can throw give you the bird twice without leaving the assembly area (4 times if we count the start & finish)(sorry, no showers). Race is “on” in any kind of weather; NO MAILED SHIRTS OR AWARDS!! NOTE: Rotary Park strictly forbids alcohol, pets, bikes and bratty little kids. If you must bring them, please have a tight leash around their necks and muzzle them if needed, especially the kids. And if the Rotary folks ask you to put them back in the car, please comply without any objection, lest we lose this site for future Mudfests.

Directions: FROM PHILLY: TAKE 422 WEST TO READING. One block past Arbys/Burger King, bear right onto Bus Rt. 422W (Mt Penn). **Go 2-3 miles until you pass a Bank, a Subway & then Arners Restaurant. JUST PAST ARNERS, go right onto Glen Rd (road sign missing, but there’s a sign there for “Stokesay”). When Glen ends, left onto Hill Rd. Take a right past the Park on the right (home of the equally dim Half-Wit Half) onto Angora Road. Stay on Angora (stay to right at all time) until your 1st 4-way intersect: List Rd. Go right on List, take 2nd gate on right (Rotary Athletic Field; sign is on left).

FROM LANCASTER: Take Rt. 222 N. to Reading, **After passing Mall on left, bear right onto Rt. 422 East toward Pottstown (is also Rt. 222S). Stay on Rt. 422E past Lancaster Ave exit and Rt. 176 South exit until the Mt Penn Exit. Take the exit, go left at the top of ramp. Go to the 3rd light, take left onto Bus Rt. 422W and follow Philly instructs above after the **.

FROM ALLENTOWN: Bus. Rt. 222 S toward Reading (DON’T take new Reading bypass) Go 2 miles thru shopping areas. 200 yards past Pizza Hut & a Loews, go left onto Rt 12 (old Rdg Bypass). Take 2nd exit; Spring Valley Rd. Go right at end of exit. Take 2nd left (past Crab Barn) up Reading’s unique McKnights Gap Rd. Go straight thru stop sign at top to next stop sign 25 yds ahead. Take left and then an immediate hard right up Skyline Dr. Take 1st left on that hill onto List Rd. At next intersect (List & Angola), go straight across; Rotary Park is 2nd gate on right, (sign is on the left).

FROM LEBANON OR COAL REGION: Leb: Take 422 east and follow Lancaster directions above after ** Coal Region: take Rt 61S or Rt 183S to Rt 222S, take RT 222S to 422E, follow Lancaster directions above after **.

FROM GEORGIA/ N.C, VIR., ETC: Go north, bear right. FROM VT, NH, MASS, CONN, ETC: Go south, bear right.

MAPQUEST: Use intersection of Angora and List Rds. PHILLY FOLKS: DO NOT USE TURNPIKE

Questions? Comments? Constipated? Contact Head Hog Ron Horn at rhornpcs@aol.com or at 610-779-2668

App also viewable on www.pagodapacers.com and www.pretzelcitysports.com

Insurance Provided By Road Runner Clubs of America