THE PAGODA PACERS A.C. , READING, PA PRESENTS THE GREATEST
GATHERING OF PIGS SINCE THE 2004 "MISS BULGARIA" PRELIMS;
THE 14TH ANNUAL
MT. PENN MUDFEST
15k Trail Run, Sat, March 22, 2008 (day
before Easter)
10 AM-Reading, PA-Limited to First 825 Entries
“ONE OF THE FIVE U.S. TRAIL RACES YOU MUST DO”: Nov/2000
Runner’s World
“ONE OF THE TOP 21 TRAILS RACES
IN THE U.S.”: Oct/1998 Runner’s World
“ONE OF THE TOP 6 TRAIL RACES IN THE U.S.: Fall/1998
Men’s Journal
“MORE HURTFUL THAN A DON IMUS BROADCAST: 2007 Rutgers Women's
Basketball Yearbook
A Pagoda Pacer Event- entry thru www.pretzelcitysports.com
ONLY
No Race Day Entry/No Waiting List/No Brain, No Pain
Race Held in Memory of Fellow
Pacer & Race
Co-Director Bill Bradley
The greatest disaster in the US over the past few years
has been the "trainwreck" named Britney Spears.
She got married & then annulled the marriage 55 hours
later, then married & divorced a Eminem wanna-be who's
former girlfriend (who had no idea she was a "former")
was 7 months pregnant with his 2nd kid at the time (while
his planned career as the next Vanilla Ice crashed when
his CD sold a total of 63 copies, he will live a life of
luxury that we can only imagine; just for talking his way
into Britney's underpants on one of the few times when she
wore any; a task that increasingly seems to be unbelievably
easy to accomplish). Britney's continuing problems with
alcohol, drugs and nicotine have been well documented and
the only part of her body that has NOT been splashed across
the Internet, in picture form, is her "brain".
She has been publicly sited for bad parenting, bad driving,
bad fashion choices, bad hairstyles (or for having no hair
at all), bad career choices, bad song choices & CERTAINLY
bad choices in men. Yet, if you took a poll of 10-14yr
old girls in this country, MILLIONS would admit to wanting
to be "just like her!"
The four early-Spring water crossings in the Mount Penn
Mudfest 15K Trail Run will give you nipples hard enough
to pierce an armored HumVee. It contain more "rock" than
a Wolfman Jack Anthology and it has led to more "fat
lips" than a pre-Holiday Sale at Mr. Lance's House
of Botox. It goes up and down more than Space Mountain and
the downed trees across its trails will result in so many "raised
legs" that you'll think the Westminster Dog Show was
in town. This MPM has made grown men swear off running and
grown women swear off the grown men that talked them into
it in the first place. All and all, the Mudfest is like
a day at the Proctologists, when he happened to run out
of KY jelly. Yet, there are MILLIONS of trail races
out there that, when polled, would admit to wanting to be "just like the Mudfest !" Well,
maybe not "millions" but "thousands".
Well, "hundreds". OK, there are 14 trail races
nationally that would like to be the Mudfest. And who can
blame them!! Over the last 10 years, the Mudfest has been
the largest rustic trail run in the U.S. for all but one
year. Annually, runners from between 20-25 states migrate
to the event for pig themed awards, pig-adorned shirts,
unique & possibly illegal aid stations, a Clydesdale
category unlike any other, in-race events such as the “raw
egg carry” and the "Easter Egg Hunt" and the appearance
of the only Septuagenarian Punk Rock band in America that
is not currently incarcerated. The Mudfest has reached its
entry limit every single year for the last 8 years that
the limit has been in place; we just have no idea "why"? Legal
Schmegal: YOU RACE AT YOUR OWN RISK, you alone are responsible
for your well being while here! We do not look
for missing runners; mostly due to requests by relatives,
spouses, etc that have insured them heavily. We will have
medical assistance on site but they insist on checking for
hernias during every single examination of wounded runners;
even if all you did was break a nail. Because the race can
be challenging to some, it is closed to 1) runners below
18 (can be 16 or 17 IF accompanied there by a parent or
guardian(we’ll ask to see proof); show up on your own and
it’s “hasta la vista, baby!”), 2) anyone who ever put money
in Marie Osmond's pocket by buying one of her frightening
dolls on QVC and 3) anyone who thinks that the movie "Free
Willy" was a porn film about a flasher in Oakland. PLEASE
NOTE: While we respect the desire of “walkers”
to see the course, we can’t ask our folks to stay at their
posts for 30-40 extra minutes for the benefit of only 2-3.
Entrants should be able to run at least half the course,
at worst, & those
exclusively “walking” at the 7 mile point will be asked
to stop racing (the 7 mile pt is only 40 ft from the finish)
Awards: Much-sought-after pig adorned
awards to overall M/F 1st thru 3rd and Masters M/F winners
plus:
18-29: 7M, 5F 30-39: 7M, 5F 40-49: 7M, 5F 50-59: 7M, 4F
60& over: 5M, 3F 70+: 2M, 1 F
Also, Both Open Clydesdales/Clydettes & Master Clydesdales/Clydettes
(40 & over) Awards: 1-5th Male & 1-3rd Female in both (not
eligible for age group awards). Men: your weight (in lbs.) divided by your
height (in inches) must be at least 2.7 lbs./inch. Women: same formula but
your “min” is 2.15 lbs./inch. This method stops genetic freaks that weight
235 but have 4% body fat from stealing awards for those of us shaped like SpongeBob.
Scale on site to both confirm eligibility & embarrass.
Registration/Packet Pickup: Race starts at 10 A.M
at Rotary Park, List Rd., just off Angora Rd. (near the
Pagoda) in Reading; all packet pickup occurs that morning
and pickup opens at 8:30. NO RACE DAY ENTRY! NO WAITING
LIST! MUST REGISTER ONLINE AT WWW.PRETZELCITYSPORTS.COM ;
OPENS JAN 1, 2008 & CLOSES WHEN ENTRY LEVEL OF 825 RUNNERS
IS REACHED OR BY MIDNIGHT, MAR 19TH, WHICHEVER OCCURS FIRST.
If you have never been on the Internet and don’t know anyone
who has access to the Internet or still think that the "Internet" is
the international body that fights crime, call race director
Ron Horn at 610-779-2668 for an alternate way to sign up.
Fee: $30 if entered by midnight, 3/1/08, $35 after
that until midnight 3/19/08 or when we hit 825 entries;
whichever happens first. Full refund of entry fee (but not
service charge) if canceling by 3/10/08, no refund after
that date. Any substitution you arrange is ok until 3/19
PROVIDING THAT YOU NOTIFY THE RACE DIRECTOR OF THE NEW PERSON'S
COMPLETE INFO BY 3/19 AS WELL; ($$$ exchanged is between
you & the sub you find and they may be stuck with your
shirt “size” & “type”). NO RACE DAY SUBBING-IT SCREWS
UP OUR RESULTS! Staff may ask for ID to stop day-of substitutions.
Changes or requests for refunds after above cutoffs will
be ignore much like noted germaphob Howie Mandel's request
that happy winners on "Deal or No Deal" do not "touch" or "kiss" him.
No “carry overs” to 2009; has become too difficult to track.
Your Goodies? Choice of a tank-top or regular T
w/the famous “running pig” logo, finisher awards for all,
snack bar, hot & cold food, 4 water stops, medical help
on site, nearby parking, on-trail surprises, results on
pagodapacers.com about 2-3 days after race & a course
where your friends can throw give you the bird twice without
leaving the assembly area (4 times if we count the start & finish)(sorry,
no showers). Race is “on” in any kind of weather; NO MAILED
SHIRTS OR AWARDS!! NOTE: Rotary Park strictly forbids alcohol,
pets, bikes and bratty little kids. If you must bring
them, please have a tight leash around their necks and muzzle
them if needed, especially the kids. And if the Rotary folks
ask you to put them back in the car, please comply without
any objection, lest we lose this site for future Mudfests.
Directions: FROM PHILLY: TAKE 422
WEST TO READING. One block past Arbys/Burger King, bear
right onto Bus Rt. 422W (Mt Penn). **Go
2-3 miles until you pass a Bank, a Subway & then Arners
Restaurant. JUST PAST ARNERS, go right onto Glen
Rd (road sign missing, but there’s a sign there for “Stokesay”).
When Glen ends, left onto Hill Rd. Take a right past the
Park on the right (home of the equally dim Half-Wit Half)
onto Angora Road. Stay on Angora (stay to right at all time)
until your 1st 4-way intersect: List Rd. Go right on List,
take 2nd gate on right (Rotary Athletic Field; sign is on
left).
FROM LANCASTER: Take Rt. 222 N. to Reading,
**After passing Mall on left, bear right onto Rt. 422 East
toward Pottstown (is also Rt. 222S). Stay on Rt. 422E past
Lancaster Ave exit and Rt. 176 South exit until the Mt Penn
Exit. Take the exit, go left at the top of ramp. Go to the
3rd light, take left onto Bus Rt. 422W and follow Philly
instructs above after the **.
FROM ALLENTOWN: Bus. Rt. 222 S toward
Reading (DON’T take new Reading bypass) Go 2 miles thru
shopping areas. 200 yards past Pizza Hut & a Loews,
go left onto Rt 12 (old Rdg Bypass). Take 2nd exit; Spring
Valley Rd. Go right at end of exit. Take 2nd left (past
Crab Barn) up Reading’s unique McKnights Gap Rd. Go straight
thru stop sign at top to next stop sign 25 yds ahead. Take
left and then an immediate hard right up Skyline Dr. Take
1st left on that hill onto List Rd. At next intersect (List & Angola),
go straight across; Rotary Park is 2nd gate on right, (sign
is on the left).
FROM LEBANON OR COAL REGION: Leb:
Take 422 east and follow Lancaster directions above after
** Coal Region: take Rt 61S or Rt 183S
to Rt 222S, take RT 222S to 422E, follow Lancaster directions
above after **.
FROM GEORGIA/ N.C, VIR., ETC: Go north,
bear right. FROM VT, NH, MASS, CONN, ETC:
Go south, bear right.
MAPQUEST: Use intersection of Angora and
List Rds. PHILLY FOLKS: DO NOT USE TURNPIKE
Questions? Comments? Constipated? Contact Head
Hog Ron Horn at rhornpcs@aol.com or
at 610-779-2668
App also viewable on www.pagodapacers.com and
www.pretzelcitysports.com
Insurance Provided By Road Runner Clubs
of America