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PRETZEL CITY SPORTS’ FROSTY & FRIGHTENING DAY IN THE WOODS; THE 7TH ANNUAL
“UGLY MUDDER”
7.25 MILE TRAIL RUN, READING, PA
SUNDAY, FEB 28, 2010 11 A.M. NO ENTRY LIMIT
It is a cruel irony and God's/ Allah's/ Buddha's great eventual equalizer that "beauty fades with time but ugliness remains constant forever" (despite what they say on Nip/Tuck)! Bridget Bardot, once the fantasy of many a pre-teen boy, now looks like she was pummeled by a Parisian youth gang wielding 3 day old baguettes. And Dyan Cannon, a personal favorite of this writer during puberty, is now stretched so tightly in the face that tonguing her own ear is not beyond the realm of possibilities. With each new sag that appears on any part of Pamela Anderson (even on her face!) or on Robert Redford or Harrison Ford, their career opportunities continue to move toward only playing someone's drooling, demented relative in a Hallmark TV production centered around the family's angst at having to put them in a home. And yet, Wilford Brimley and Whoopi Goldberg continue thru life as if Father Time has better things to do than to stop by their hacienda. In fact, Wilford may even look BETTER than Redford; fat seems to have a way of filling in the wrinkles on one's face quite well! And such is the case with the Ugly Mudder Trail Run. It started out as an ugly experience for all, continues to create ugly memories for entries today and has little chance of looking better even in the future, after our eyes all start failing from age. The Ugly Mudder is to "trail runs" what South Park is to "Christian entertainment". It has ascents and descents aplenty, rocks and roots throughout, downed logs and probably downed runners, fallen leaves-snow-ice-discarded sofas littering the entire course and wildlife that is known to carry concealed weapons (but only for their own protection). It is a mid-level challenge that people that put the "stretch" in "stretch pants" can finish if they attempt it in a same and reasonable fashion, not that those words should in ANY way be used in connection with this race. And it is one TUFF NUT for the ringers who run it like they're doing 400 meter repeats on a track. It DOES have one of the best post-race get togethers at the finish that you'll ever experience, hosted by the Reading Liederkranz; sellers of fine & under priced German brews, servers of your free breakfast and host to our post race band, prize giveaways, vendors, etc. That is, if you GET to the finish! There is a LOT you have to conquer before you get there, including your fear of entering in the first place. And yet, if you take that 1st step (this is only a 12 step program if that is all the further you get before you hurt yourself), you may find that this is one really fun event and one to which you will be coming back, long after your beauty has faded as well! LEGAL LINGO: You race at your own risk; you alone are responsible for your welfare at all times!! We sure as heck won’t be leaving the warmth of the 'Krantz so please get hurt close to a place to which you can limp, crawl, stumble, etc. and then be easily retrieved by someone in a heated vehicle. Fortunately, this only applies to the 2-3 of you that will twist an ankle, pull a muscle or crack a smile. We will have EMS's present but getting them away from the breakfast line will be like getting Lady Gaga away from a makeup mirror. While we will have food there, this is no "picnic" As such, we only let you in if you are 1)18 or older (16 & 17 yr olds may run with a parent present-no exceptions) 2) know that NetFlick is not a movie about butterfly collecting and 3) aren't so snooty that you have never drank wine from a bottle with a screw off cap.
REGISTRATION/ENTRY: Reading Liederkranz German Singing & Sports Club, 140 Spook Lane (off of Hill Rd), Reading, PA (same place as most Pretzel City events). Reg. opens at 9:45 a.m., we race at 11 (approx.). Fee is $30 w/ long sleeve shirt if postmarked by Friday, Feb 12, 2010. Afterwards, $35 while shirts last (inc. day of race), $27 when gone. WARNING: FEW extra shirts are printed than those ordered by prereg entries; if you fail to pre-enter, your only option may be to have our official at-race tattooist "ink" the race logo to your chest, calf or butt. Even if you register in the post-reg period but before raceday, you’re almost surely guaranteed a shirt of your preferred size. (on-line registration on www.pretzelcitysports.com will close at Midnight of the Wed before the race) We race in rain, snow or bitter cold. Check www.pretzelcitysports.com scroll bar for postponement info if roads are pretty much impassable that day (not just a little “sub-par”). If postponed, it will be held the NEXT SUNDAY same time, same place. No refunds, no mailed shirts or awards; no whiners, no crybabies, no transgenders (lead to too much confusion in the bathroom lines) no pets (Liederkranz rule) & no people that think that we are cruel & heartless to hold the event in whatever conditions exist that day, other than "75+ degrees and pleasant". We ARE cruel & heartless, but we don’t like to be reminded of it. Bring Cash, no ATM nearby. Also, bring extra shoes for inside & the drive home!
Registration on www.pretzelcitysports.com not required but always encouraged!
(small service fee applies, closes at midnight on Wed the week of the race)
YOU GET: Long sleeve T-shirt with a memorable design, hot breakfast, indoor registration & toilets, free food at the finish line, suds/chilled Jaegermeister/strange Germanic meats available for purchase thru the club, WELL marked course, 2 water stops, live music at the post-event party, finish place posted immediately & results on www.pretzelcitysports.com in 1-2 days, unique aide stations & other surprises not yet finalized. Breakfast tickets can be bought at reg for your peeps!
TONS OF AWARDS: M & F 1st thru 3rd Overall + Top M & F Masters (40 & over) +:
16-29: 7M, 5F 30-39: 7M, 5F 40-49: 7M, 5F 50-59: 7M, 4F 60-69: 5M, 2F 70+: 2M, 1F
DIRECTIONS FROM : PHILLY: IMPORTANT: DO NOT USE MAPQUEST DIRECTIONS FROM PHILLY! Instead, take Rt. 422 West from King of Prussia. Just before Reading, at the new TARGET/LOWES/GIANT on your right, bear right onto Bus. Rt. 422, marked “Mt. Penn”; DON’T follow sign to Reading ** Go 3 miles until road splits at Wachovia Bank. 300 yds later, JUST PAST Arners Restaurant, take right onto Glen Rd (COMES ON YOU QUICK, sign missing, ROAD RIGHT BEFORE BRIDGE). At end of Glen, turn right and then take your next right just 50 yards ahead. Or follow the signs to Stokesay, the Liederkrantz driveway is right next to it.
YORK/LANCASTER: Rt. 222 N to Reading. Follow it to Rt. 422 East bypass around Reading . Exit at Mt Penn. Take a left, go 3 lights to Bus. Rt. 422. Take a left, follow the Philly directions above after the astrik **.
ALLENTOWN: Take Rt. 222 S, merge onto Rt. 422 East (Reading/Pottstown). Go around Reading and exit at Mt Penn. Go left, go 3 lights to Bus. 422W. Take left, follow Philly directions after asterisks **.
LEBANON: Take Rt. 422 East. Just past Berkshire mall, bear right onto Rt. 422E. Continue on bypass past Reading to Mt Penn exit. Take left, go 3 lights to Bus.422W. Go left, follow Philly directions above after asterisks **.
COAL REGION: Take Rt 61 South onto Rt 222 Bypass, follow same directions above listed in “Allentown”
BALTIMORE: Rt 83 North to Rt 30 East at York to Rt 222N at Lancaster. Follow Lancaster directions above.
MAPQUEST INPUT: 143 Spook Lane, Reading, PA 19606 or “Spook Lane & Hill Rd” or “Hill Rd & Glen Rd”.
Insurance Provided by Road Runner Clubs of America (R.R.C.A.)
Check Payable to & mailed (with waiver) to: Pretzel City Sports, 112 W. 36th St., Reading, PA 19606. Ugliest Mudder: Ron Horn, rhornpcs@aol.com, www.pretzelcitysports.com or 610-779-2668 (but not during Biggest Loser, Survivor, CSI-Vegas, True Blood, the Amazing Race or any Phila Eagle game (inc. post-game commentary)
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PRINT LIKE YOU WEREN'T JOHN MCCAIN'S RUNNING MATE***APP MAY BE DUPLICATED*** SIGN WAIVER ON BACK
WAIVER: I know that running a trail race is a potentially hazardous activity. I should not enter and run unless I am medically able and properly trained. I also know that there will be traffic, hazards, debris and poor footing on the course and assume the risk for running on it. I also assume any or all other risks associated with running or attending the race including but not limited to falls, contact with other participants, the affects of the weather, getting lost, wildlife & insect attacks and all such risks being known and appreciated by me. Knowing these facts, and in consideration of your accepting my entry fee, I hereby for myself, my heirs, executors, administrators or anyone else who might claim on my behalf, covenant not to sue, and waive, release and discharge Pretzel City Sports, all municipalities in which the event is held, the race director, course officials, all other organizations directly or indirectly associated with the race, any and all sponsors including their agents, employees, assigns or anyone acting for on their behalf, or anyone else associated in any way with the race, from any or all claims or liability for death, personal injury or property damage of any kind of nature what so ever arising out of, or in the course of, my participation in this event(s). This waiver extends to all claims of every kind or nature what so ever, foreseen or unforeseen, known or unknown. By entering this race, I am granting permission to Pretzel City Sports to use any pictures or likenesses of me secured at the event in any way they see fit without review, restriction or compensation. BY SIGNING THIS, I ATTEST THAT I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTAND THIS WAIVER :
Signature________________________________________________________ date ____ /_ ___ /20___
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